So often in life, we set goals for improvement. Whether it is a lifestyle ambition or a specific skill deficit, we always have room to grow. Similarly, we set goals for our children- either for developmental growth or to work on a delayed skill.
We focus on the end goal but don’t know how to get there. Or, you know how to get there but don’t have the motivation to work towards those goals.
Parents- How often do you wish your child would…
- listen better,
- focus more,
- stop fighting with their siblings,
- work harder in school,
- clean their room more
- And, the list continues.
Teachers- How often do you wish a student would…
- engage more,
- stop interrupting,
- improve a specific grade,
- sit still,
- remember to turn in assignments”
- And, the list continues.
As therapists, we help develop and address goals with families and clients every day.
Data and experience have shown us that there are effective and ineffective ways of developing and achieving goals.
Below are 5 steps that will help you and your child achieve goals quicker.
5 Steps to Achieving Goals Quicker
- Write out and display your goal.
You are 42% more likely to achieve your goal when you write it down.
A study done by Dr. Gail Matthews, a psychology professor at Dominican University of California, revealed that participants were 42% more likely to achieve their goals and dreams when they wrote down and continually looked at their goals.
- Believe and Buy In.
Make sure your child has input on the goals that are set for them.
Think about how likely you are to achieve a goal that someone tells you to do versus a goal that you set for yourself. Make sure goals have meaning and purpose for your life. Your kids should always have input on what their goals are. If your child cannot verbalize what their goals are, use what is important to them in their goals. This is important for all ages of life.
- See successes
Mini-goals = Many successes
Break goals down and make mini-goals that take steps towards the big picture goal. Again, write down these mini-goals and communicate them with your child. Achievement of mini-goals will help you stay motivated and feel success along the way. This constant positivity around steps towards your goal will keep you encouraged to meet your goal.
- Rewards
Rely on a combination of intrinsic and extrinsic motivation.
Rewards get a bad reputation. But, we all use them- heck, work places give bonuses for a job well done. It is important to know the difference between intrinsic and extrinsic motivation. When you know the difference, you can help your child maintain a balance between the two types of motivation.
Intrinsic Motivation is being motivated to complete a task because you get internal and personal satisfaction from the task.
External Motivation is being motivated to complete a task because you will get a reward or avoid a negative consequence by doing the task.
5. Positive Self Talk
Remind yourself that you are capable of achievement.
It is important to focus on the positive steps that have been taken towards a goal. Your thoughts have tremendous power over your behavior and action. When you focus on the fact that a goal is not achieved, it is easy to get stuck in the lack of progress. When your self talk centers around progress and positive steps, you are more likely to take further steps.