Kids are simply learning how to live this crazy life. Everyday we watch kids have big feelings- fears, anger, stress, anxiety, fatigue and they do not know how to regulate those feelings. Self-regulation is a skill much like reading, math and writing. It takes a conscious effort on the adult’s part to help kids develop this skill. With the correct nurturing and nature, kids can develop a skill of regulation. However, in the incorrect way, kids may not be able to regulate their emotions. Co-regulation is necessary to help children develop the skill of self-regulation.
Co-Regulation is a term used when one individual makes active attempts to help another individual regulate. This requires a high level of self-regulation on the adult’s part and a lot of patience. When there is an individual who is not able to self regulate, we use co-regulation strategies. A few examples of co-regulation are…
What is Co-Regulation?
- An individual becomes startled from a fire alarm. Another individual can co-regulate with that individual to facilitate them to move outside.
- A toddler becomes upset in the middle of the night because they are alone. A parent can help that child calm with co-regulation.
Strategies for Co-Regulation
The strategies for co-regulation should be determined on an individual basis with a trained occupational therapist. Some general guidelines of Co-Regulation are…
- Establish a trusting relationship
- Approach the individual with a calm, low voice
- Limit verbal language
- Address the individual’s specific sensory needs
- Use patience and compassion
- Model deep breathing and other soothing techniques
- Help label the emotion
What is Self-Regulation?
Self-Regulation is one’s ability to regulate emotions independently. This is a high level cognitive skill that sometimes does not fully develop until young adulthood. It can, however, start developing as early as toddlerhood if we are able to facilitate it correctly. A few examples of self-regulation are…
- An individual is excited about an upcoming event but is able to self-regulate in order to participate in school tasks of the day.
- An individual becomes angry about losing a game, but is able to self-regulate to congratulate the other team.
Strategies for Self-Regulation
Like co-regulation, self-regulation should be taught on an individual basis with a trained occupational therapist. Some general guidelines for teaching self regulation are…
- Identify different emotions and triggers for those emotions.
- Develop tools for each emotion
- Discover effective sensory regulatory tools
- Practice deep breathing and other body awareness techniques
- Use role play and modeling
- Stay calm, patient and positive
As stated throughout this blog, co-regulation and self-regulation is a very important skill that should be taught with the guidance of a trained professional. With the guidance from an occupational therapist, you can facilitate this skill with your child. Contact us for a connection call today!
Check out our self regulation program.